Having insomnia is like having the flu, but no one thinks you’re sick. When you have insomnia, people who’ve never had it have a hard time understanding exactly why you don’t just go to bed and get some sleep. Or they offer suggestions like, “It’s probably your caffeine intake” because OBVIOUSLY people who can’t sleep for weeks at a time are just being irresponsible and don’t realize not sleeping is all their own fault.
It’s also hard for others, since insomnia doesn’t show all of it’s side-effects at once. They build over time, like an infected blister. Insomnia has many, many stages, but I’ve hit some of the big ones for you here so you can start to understand how it feels.
The first day is the day you convince yourself you just couldn’t sleep well. That it was a one time thing. That it didn’t mean anything! But in the back of your mind, you can’t help but wonder, “Am I going to see him again?” Every time this thought creeps in, you tell yourself, “NO! NO way is Mr. Insomnia coming back to MY bed tonight!”
But of course he keeps coming back, and after a few days, you find you’re mental faculties are, well, slipping just a little bit.
Like when you go to start working and your computer just won’t work and so you yell over the partitions for the NSSSA and whine for him to come fix it. And even though he does, you find yourself thinking he thought that maybe it was a waste of his movement quota for the day.
Forgetting to check if the computer was even ON could happen to anyone.
Once you start missing things that are obvious, the sense of unreasonable irritation sets in. Like when your cheerful coworker, who is only being nice ends up being stabbed 50 times, in your head.
Unreasonable Irritation only makes way for unrighteous anger and inappropriate handling of that anger. Like when you rename the Prince in Sleeping Beauty to “He Who Must Die” and then tell your child it’s called artistic license, so stop complaining that I ruined the story.
After a week or so, your brain hits a plateau where absolutely anything is possible, and suddenly your brain is producing dozens of amazingly brilliant ideas every single day. Of course, your write down your best ones so that once you finally get a little sleep you can get started on changing the lives of everyone in the whole world.
After ten days you find your emotions are uncontrollable. No matter the situation, you can be in tears from it for hours.
On the other hand, you also find things that are not really funny at all absolutely hysterical and will repeat the joke that made you laugh to your friend possibly 17 times in the same conversation.
By the second week, your brain starts to trick you into believing that you see things that aren’t at all right.
Then before you know it, you’re stuck between finally giving in to the oblivion of drugs, which you’ve avoided up until now because you hate feeling drugged for hours on end, or taking the obvious route and becoming a walk-on on The Walking Dead.
Either way, you’ll come out ahead at the end.
I’m pretty sure, anyway. I’m still waiting to hear back on how much I’ll get paid for appearing on The Walking Dead.
Jaime July 10, 2012 at 11:15 pm
good luck!
I’m sending you waves of sleepyness in hopes that your insomnia ends soon… I don’t miss my bouts of insomnia when they’re gone …. it’s been a few months since I’ve had one, thank goodness.
this is probably the most accurate representation of insomnia I’ve ever seen… and I’m going to start sending this blog to people who ask me why I don’t just sleep when I tell them I’m having a bout of insomnia.
Jaime´s last [type] ..it burns, it burns!
WilyGuy July 11, 2012 at 7:23 am
(imagine pocket watch going back and forth) You’re getting SLEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPYYYYYYY!
Insomnia sucks. I was up two nights ago, my wife was up last night. Nothing to do but hope.
I’m sure your co-worker like all your readers are offering up options to consider in your bout against it. Too much caffeine, exercise about an hour before bed, don’t watch TV in bed, watch TV in bed, don’t use the computer, iPad, etc in bed, write down all the things that are on your mind before bed, pills, more pills, ambien (or as we like to call it the consensual kinky sex pill) and undoubtedly there are others.
I find that trying to stay up all night is a pretty good cure because I can’t normally pull it off. Barring that, I am sure it is your location and only the Caribbean will help.
WG
WilyGuy´s last [type] ..Caught My Wife Surfin’ Porn
Lissie @ Giggles & Screams July 11, 2012 at 7:30 am
Oh, honey, I feel you! It’s a special kind of torture when you lay there looking at the clock and calculating exactly how many hours until the alarm goes off. Once I get down to about 2 hours left, I usually decide to just say “screw it” and get up for the day with no sleep at all. That’s very rarely a wise decision.
Lissie @ Giggles & Screams´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday – Funny Faces
Kim July 11, 2012 at 10:33 am
That waving lady, outside the window, must be SUPER fast…. she comes by my house too… always waving and staring and mimicing me and stuff… Good post!!!
Nicki (@NickiLynnM) July 12, 2012 at 8:28 pm
If you would just stop writing these blog posts and go to bed you would be fine . . . Just kidding!
I wouldn’t say that I suffer from insomnia but I often don’t get nearly enough sleep for a multitude of reasons and that alone makes me feel many of the things you describe . . . so I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be for someone who truly suffers from insomnia!
I however would give in and take the meds . . .
Nicki (@NickiLynnM)´s last [type] ..Where Does Time Go?
Nina Potts July 16, 2012 at 10:05 pm
I give in to the drugs much sooner. I have multiple kinds and despite warning labels and doctors sometimes I take multiple things at once. This often leads to conversations I don’t remember, sleep walking into walls, thinking I see other dimensions, and generally doing things with my eyes open for the first two hours that I’m “awake” that are rather fuzzy and I’m certain I looked drunk at the time. I also fell and cut my knee.
Nina Potts´s last [type] ..Movie: You Again
MMM July 18, 2012 at 12:18 am
I thought I just had insomnia but it turned out I had severe sleep apnea. I’m not overweight or have a large neck, so no one thought it could be that. I am so much more rested and feel better. Consider a sleep study.
Nic July 19, 2012 at 5:46 am
The illustrations are perfect! Ha. But insomnia does suck and is no laughing matter, so I retract my “ha.”
Nic´s last [type] ..When Knowledge Isn’t Power
Alicia July 27, 2012 at 9:39 am
I totally understand what you are going through, I’ve had chronic idiopathic insomnia for the last 6 years, so me and the stages are very well acquainted. I don’t take any meds though, I hate they way they feel.
Zeynep April 21, 2013 at 12:09 pm
I can really relate. For the past three months I’ve been having serious trouble with falling asleep and staying asleep. I’ve lost count of the nights in which I didn’t sleep a wink, though I did have three wonderful weeks of normal sleep. I suspect I only owe it to a light dose of sleeping pill, though…
Don’t be disheartened! At least don’t be a weakling like me and cry and fret uncontrollably on the nights you can’t sleep :D
I wish you all the best zzzzzzs
Snorkaholic April 23, 2013 at 11:04 am
Barely have enough energy to breathe some days. A good nights sleep every month or two doesn’t last long enough until the next one comes. Nothing works! Sleeping pills are useless. CPAP is useless. Trying to get through the day is useless! Death is right around the corner! Yipee! Finally a chance to get away from it all… Probably the only time there will ever be to get a vacation in before I have to go to work… and other other twisted views from the Insomnia Zone… Doesn’t have to make sense as long as the delusion makes death by constant fatigue feel better than the endless slavery of work and demands on our time until we die.